Summer Associate’s Naughty Toddler Impression Gets Her Bounced From Biglaw

Vampire or Biglaw summer associate? You be the judge.

This is a story you’re really going to chew on for a while. A Sidley summer associate in the New York office who we’ll refer to as Biglaw Biter (for reasons that will soon be apparent) was let go after a series of incidents with other employees. What happened you ask? She bit other people at work. You are not reading this incorrectly: a Biglaw summer associate bit people at the firm — with her teeth.

(For the record, before settling on the alliterative Biglaw Biter as the summer’s code name, we did consider Sidley Masticator, Scrumptious Summer, Champion Chomper, Mike Tyson of Biglaw, and the close runner-up, Associate Lecter.)

According to insiders at the firm, pretty much from the start of the summer, the Biglaw Biter started chomping away at other employees at Sidley Gnaw-stin — not in an aggressive, “we’re beefing” way, but more of a faux-quirky manic pixie dream girl crossed with the Donner party vibe. But like, you’re in NYC for the summer — if you want to get your kicks by biting people, there are more consensual ways to do it.

The final chomp-count is thought to be in the double digits (UPDATE: insiders now confirm there were 5 people chewed on at Sidley this summer) — which is an awfully long time for the nibbling to continue. (Though I’ve seen pics of the results post-Biglaw Biter, and “nibble” is probably too tame a word. No one should have marks on their person after an interaction with a co-worker in Biglaw — emotional and psychological scars only!) It’s unclear why this went on so long before reporting the Biglaw Biter, but the rumor is she’s otherwise personable and there was some reluctance to elevate the matter.

It’s just wild that this happened in Biglaw. A single bite is enough to get a toddler written up in an incident report from daycare. And if the biting goes on multiple times? That’ll get you kicked out of daycare.

And Biglaw too, as it happens.

Not since the aughts have I heard a tale of such out-of-pocket summer associate behavior. There were strip club visits and expense accounts gone wild, but obviously, the classic of the genre is Aquagirl. Above the Law has long referred to her exploits as the bar for summer associate behavior (though the Biglaw Biter just might take the crown). For those that were in their preschool biting phase back in 2006, Aquagirl was a Cleary summer associate who drunkenly stripped down to her underwear at an event at Chelsea Piers and jumped into the Hudson River. Ultimately she had to be rescued in a boat — but still ended the summer with an offer.

Kathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, host of The Jabot podcast, and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter @Kathryn1 or Mastodon @[email protected].