It’s no secret that money is a major cause of conflict for married couples.
About a third of divorcees said financial troubles were the main source of conflict during their marriage and the main reason they ultimately split up, according to a survey by Forbes Advisor.
As a financial educator and former NFCC-certified credit counselor, I’ve spoken with hundreds of couples about their financial challenges. In my experience, it’s uncommon for one party to be solely responsible for all the money troubles in a marriage. Instead, it’s usually a lack of communication about financial responsibilities and expectations that leads a couple down the wrong path.
From hidden debt to mismatched spending habits, small money missteps can quietly snowball into major relationship problems. The good news? Many of the most common financial mistakes that lead to divorce are preventable. Here are four of the biggest money mistakes couples make, and how to avoid letting finances come between you and your partner.
A lot of financial rifts for couples come from avoiding the topic of money altogether. In fact, most married people say they never discussed basic financial topics such as savings, debt, or splitting the bills before they tied the knot.
When it comes to money and marriage, here’s a closer look at the most common faux pas that split couples up.
Hiding debt or other financial information from your spouse — also known as committing financial infidelity — is often a recipe for a failed marriage.
In a 2025 Debt.com survey, 37% of respondents said that hiding debt is equivalent to breaking your vows. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that the same number of divorcees say either they or their ex-spouse was hiding debt during the marriage.
Credit card debt can be particularly difficult to manage, since credit card rates are so high. In recent years, the average rate has risen to nearly 21%.
So, it’s no surprise that this particular type of debt has become an increasingly common cause of divorce. In the Debt.com survey, 42% of divorcees said credit card debt played a role in their split, versus 34% in 2024 and 29% in 2023.
Of course, debt doesn’t have to lead to divorce, but it can be an insurmountable hurdle when the couple fails to look for a solution. The majority of couples who split up (65%) said they did not seek any help for their debt problems.
In a survey from Western & Southern Financial Group, married couples were asked which financial topics they wished they had started discussing sooner. Their top choice was spending habits (32%).
In my work, I’ve seen couples develop deep resentments toward one another over differences in spending. Things get especially contentious when one is a saver, and the other spends money freely. According to divorcees, the biggest cause of financial strain during their marriage was disagreements about their biggest purchases, including things like furniture and cars.
In my budgeting sessions with couples, one particular scenario plays out repeatedly: One spouse is managing the bills and financial accounts for the household, and the other is unaware of the details.
This dynamic may seem natural for couples in which one partner knows more about money management than the other. But it often leads to serious problems. For example, one spouse tends to be resentful about the amount of responsibility they’re carrying, while the other feels they aren’t trusted to make their own financial decisions.
Believe it or not, financial setbacks can actually bring couples together when handled the right way. Here are some tips for tackling money problems together, instead of letting them become the downfall of your marriage.
It’s best not to talk about money (or any other serious topic) when one or both of you are feeling upset or angry. If emotions are running high, neither of you will be focused on finding a solution. So instead of leaning in, agree to come back to the subject at a later, specified time.
When you do discuss the topic, consider setting a timer at first to help keep the conversation focused and brief. During the conversation, I recommend leading with curiosity about each other’s financial values and goals, instead of jumping directly to complaints or discussions of specific numbers.
Read more: What is values-based budgeting, and how does it work?
Not sure when to talk about money issues? You can solve that problem by setting a recurring “money date” in your calendar. A money date should be a monthly (or weekly, if you’re facing a complex issue) event where you sit down together to go over basic money management topics. This can include:
Creating and reviewing your budget
Preparing for upcoming expenses
Setting and tracking financial goals
Planning for nonnecessities like entertainment and travel
Your money date can simply be a meeting around the kitchen table. Alternatively, you might plan a special home-cooked meal or an outing, just to make it more exciting for both of you.
There’s no one right way to split money management tasks and household bills. But there is definitely a wrong way to approach it: By avoiding the topic altogether.
If you’re not sure how to split shared costs, I usually recommend doing it in a way that correlates with income. For example, if one spouse earns 70% of the household income, that spouse will cover 70% of the expenses. Of course, you can try this approach and then tweak it if it doesn’t work for you.
When it comes to paying the bills and managing financial accounts, I usually recommend discussing which responsibilities you enjoy most and writing down the tasks that each of you agrees to handle. It’s also OK to give one person all of the responsibility if that’s what you both want. However, each spouse needs to know how to locate all of the shared financial assets in case of an emergency.
Read more: Should unmarried couples have joint bank accounts?
If financial stress or disagreements are harming your marriage, don’t hesitate to get help from a professional.
For couples struggling with debt, bad credit, or budgeting issues, an NFCC-certified credit counselor can step in with expert advice and personalized tips. These counselors can also walk you through special options for improving your finances, including Debt Management Plans (DMPs).
For help with retirement planning, investing, and tax strategies, consider hiring a licensed financial advisor, such as a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC).
Read more: How to merge finances with your spouse after getting married
