Dear Dave,
My husband and I live in India. I’m from the States, and he was born here. When it comes to our finances, I manage our American investments, and he manages our Indian investments. Every month, we sit down with spreadsheets and go over our finances. I trust him completely, but I’d like to better understand our investments here and how they work. Should I just defer to his judgment, or should I learn to understand things a little better?
Anna
Dear Anna,
I always tell folks to make sure they completely understand their investments and how they work. So, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with learning more about the side of your investments he manages.
I learned a long time ago that when you’re married and it comes to making decisions, you should use all of your brain. That means both of you. Two heads are better than one, right? Back when I made all my mistakes with money and we went broke, I didn’t listen to anyone about anything. I thought I knew it all. We had investments and owned pieces of property my wife never knew about or laid eyes on.
When it came to our finances, she always trusted me and told me to do what I thought was best. Well, it turns out, I was an idiot. If I’d had an ounce of sense or humility back then, I’d have gone to her with my all my bright ideas. Knowing her thoughts or hearing her say, “I don’t know about that, honey. I’ve got a bad feeling about it” might’ve saved us a lot of pain and heartache — if I’d listened. But now, I understand like never before the meaning of Proverbs 31:10-12. “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain” (NKJV).
I’m sure your husband is lot smarter about things than I was. And he’s obviously open to talking with you about all this and showing you things. That’s a really good sign. But if I were him, and something were to happen, I’d want you to understand everything. I’d want you to know exactly what you have going on and how it all works.
Great question, Anna!
— Dave
